There are times when you feel like you can’t go on any longer. When you feel like you’re in a dark hole from which you can’t get out. When you feel like everything around you is meaningless, and there’s nothing that you can do to feel better. Everyone goes through times like this at different times in our lives.

These problems can be due to many factors such as a breakup, the death of a loved one, losing your job or money, even leaving the city where you grew up, etc. All these are valid reasons and may create psychological scars in our emotions. 

However, it’s possible to manage these situations with the necessary resources. As each head is a world, each one faces these situations in their own way, and what may work for some may not work for others.

For some people, accepting the pain and moving on may come naturally. But, for many of us, the suffering is more than justified, and sometimes we can’t get out of it.

In the end, we associate emotional pain with life lessons, and that leads us to believe we deserve what happens to us. Or, on the contrary, to feel inevitable victims of life unfairness. 

In the end, pain is actually a natural part of life, but suffering is optional. As surprising as it may sound, it’s possible to feel pain and avoid suffering. That’s what we call managing emotions and is the secret for accepting pain and moving on. In this article, I will guide you through some steps that may help in your healing journey.

1. Accept what is happening to you.

           First of all, you must recognize what is happening to you. Emotional pain is not something that should be related to any kind of weakness. On the contrary, it is something that happens to all of us. Some people will try to get rid of problems without facing reality, something that masks emotional suffering. But it will actually still be there. Accordingly, recognizing emotional pain is necessary to move forward. And I can tell you it’s the first step to find that so longed peace.

2. Be kind to yourself.

Self-esteem and self-worth help you to face these problems more quickly. Loving yourself means that you treat yourself with care and accept that you are not always perfect. Sometimes our traumas got us believing that we are not enough or that we are not beautiful or deserve love at all. 

But only when we accept ourselves, forgive ourselves, and finally love ourselves, we can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So, being loving yourself is the second step in overcoming this pain and healing our wounds.

3. Be honest with yourself and others.

           Being honest and acknowledging that you are going through a difficult time, and this is affecting your well-being may not be enough. Many times, you will also need the support of the people around you. 

Emotional pain, when not overcome, can cause you to behave in ways that other people may not understand. Therefore, it is a good idea to share your feelings with those you love. We tend to believe that we need to be alone, but the truth is that we need to hold onto the love we have around – and inside us -.

Just one thing to remember: you can’t heal in the same place that you got hurt. So make sure to know who are the ones that really love you, instead of going back to those that caused trauma – if that would be the case -.

4. Keep in mind that there will be those who do not understand you.

           Not everyone will be able to understand you, even if you are suffering. Generally, sensitive people or those who have already gone through similar situations to yours are more understanding. 

But don’t worry, this is also normal because we are all human, so don’t torture yourself. Just forgive them and forgive yourself because you both are acting out of the situation you’re living. Perhaps that person is as traumatized and in pain as you are, and emotional intelligence is something that not everyone can master. The ones who can take their time and we both know how hard it is to overcome pain. So, be patient with yourself and listen to your feelings.

5. Stay close to those people who love and understand you unconditionally.

           As we mentioned before, the people who really love you will help you through trauma. But trauma will also help you realize who is really worth keeping in your life. In the bad moments, you will recognize your real friends. So keep them! We are not exempt from not suffering an emotional downturn again, and having the right company may mark the difference at the end of our story. 

So take advantage of the pain you’ve lived, think it through, and you will definitely find those ones you need to go to! 

6. When you are ready, find out the reason for the pain.

           Once you acknowledge the existence of emotional pain and accept that trauma IS possible to overcome, you’ll start to see things in life that you’ve missing all this time. You’ll recognize love in others and yourself, you’ll feel more open, and even further, you’ll feel less empty.

But to accept the pain and move on, you must know the precise cause of your trauma. There are many ways to get into discovering the root of your trauma. 

However, sometimes the most profound trauma can’t be reached with the conventional methods. Hypnotherapy, combined with the most suitable psychological therapy for you, may do wonders in digging into yourself.

At first, it may be hard, I won’t lie to you. But once you keep unraveling the mystery around your own history and your own suffering, it will be worth it. In further articles, we’ll be able to deepen more into the benefits of this kind of therapy for treating deep trauma. 

But there’s no doubt that whatever it is that you’re going through, you need to figure the cause to accept the pain and move on.

7. If you can’t do anything about it, accept it and keep on loving yourself more than ever.

           Sometimes, some trauma is so rooted in ourselves that it will always be a part of ourselves. Naturally, those are the most complicated situations to overcome. 

But this doesn’t mean your pain can’t be relieved. Once again, accepting our reality is the only way to overcome suffering and move forward. And at the moment we make peace with the horrors we’ve been through, we can focus on a less painful future.

Knowing where you come from is also positive; it reminds you where not to come. So it’s ok to never be completely painless; it’s a human thing too, you are not alone!

8. Overcoming this moment requires a high dose of self-will.

           One harsh truth can’t be avoided; treating yourself with love requires will. Sadly, no one can overcome your trauma and move on for you; YOU are the only one that can do it. 

Some crises can mark our lives, causing us to feel a before and after of these bitter and painful situations. Even though these moments feel like the vortex of a bottomless void, the first step out must come from within you. You have that will in you!

It doesn’t matter if what comes out is not what you used to be. Consider that YOU can make what comes out of that pit, a better version of you; The version you always wanted to be. With that will, you can then move to the final steps.

9. Take control of your life.

           Now that you’ve made the first hard decision, then you will see the power in you. It’s always tortuous to get rid of the negative thoughts, and I understand it is a process. However, you can train your mind to progressively learn to reject those thoughts when necessary. But most importantly, you can learn to process them, apprehend them, and learn from them.

Once you start learning from your mistakes and consciously living your life, the suffering will slowly begin to fade, and the pain will become even valuable. It will help you know when something is out of place again.

10. If you can’t get over it, don’t hesitate to seek out for help!

           Sometimes, emotional pain comes from severe trauma, depression, or extreme stress levels. At this point, if you haven’t sought help already, it may be the moment to do it. Managing acute conditions may require extra tools that, and the sooner you get them, the best. 

Trauma may be extreme, but it may also become acute due to the extended lack of treatment. So, please don’t hesitate to ask for help! Even if you don’t believe in my methods, seek help! And if you do, know that here you will be welcome, and we will get through it.

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Remember that everything in this life is temporary, and just as the bad moments arrived, they will go away; It is possible to accept the pain and move on. And then, you will be able to feel full again and continue enjoying life.

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