Did you had a hard upbringing? Do you for some reason

Self-determination theory, a theory about human motivation, tells us that there are two primary sources of motivation, intrinsic and extrinsic. Spoiler alert: intrinsic is best.

Have you ever thought, “Why is it so difficult for me to get X done?”

Self-determination theory also tells us that there are three primary human needs, concretely Competence, Relatedness, and Autonomy. In this post, I will talk about the latter.

Sometimes we can create a resistance to move forward just because it feels like something other than us is pushing us to do so. It so happens that in some cases, it is just the way we talk to ourselves, how we frame something, what end’s up creating the illusion of being externally controlled.

Let’s say you want to write a book. At first, you might tell yourself, “Yey! Let’s write!” and you do. After a while, writing begins feeling like a chore. The same activity now becomes a source of inner discomfort and stress. What happens? Well, one thing that might be happening is that one day you told yourself “damn! I have to write the book”, then again “ Today I must do it” and little by little you shifted from doing something because you wanted to, to doing something because you have to. This authoritative inner talk creates the sensation of “having to” do something, little by little damaging your sense of Autonomy, your self-empowerment. 

If you have experienced a traumatic childhood I would recommend you to look into this seriously. You might even be conditioned to turn against yourself in this way. After all, that’s the way you were taught to treat yourself. 

If you are experiencing this, I invite you to reconsider what is intrinsically motivating from doing what you do. This is a clear case in which cognitive reframing will help you big time. Remember, if it feels like a chore, ask yourself why you want to do that, don’t stop until you want to do it.

Day 26 / 31 from the CREAZEE challenge

Learn how to create a daily writing habit: https://creazee.com/